I’m not adjusting well to college. I’m not ashamed of it, it’s simply a matter of fact. It’s not the classes, in those I’m doing fine, it’s the social life. I just can’t click. I don’t know if I think too differently from everyone here, or if I have a different world-view, but something just isn’t going together. The “plan” that I’ve had for college just isn’t working, and now looking forward, I don’t know if the plan I had for my life is going to pan out either.
For four years I have thought that I have wanted to be a pastor. I saw myself preaching on Sundays to a large congregation, studying throughout the week, and working my own hours. What a joke. The life of a pastor is so much more involved than that. He needs to be a man go patience, love, and hospitality. As I go about my day in my christian college, I see those guys. One of my best friends is one of hose guys, and frankly I’m just not. I’m a quiet homebody, who enjoys being around people, but not always interacting with them. I truly enjoy being alone and being quiet. The more I realize this, the more I see who I am, the more I see that maybe me choosing to be a pastor four years ago was an emotional response. But if I’m not going to be a pastor, now what?
Sometimes life hits you hard. You see the plan you had for your life dissolve in front of you, and you don’t even know how to pick up the pieces. The number of true, close friends are becoming thinner and thinner, and you love being by yourself more and more. And you know what? That’s totally ok.
We are young. We might have the word “Adults” slapped onto the end of our name now, but we still are still big kids in a bunch ways. Society expects us to make the biggest decision of our lives at 18 years old, but most of us don’t even know who we really are yet. A few months back we still had to ask our parents permission to go out, and now freedom has been thrust upon us. It can be overwhelming.
But WE ARE YOUNG. We are on a road that we have never treked before, and we need to pave our way across the landscape of the world. We don’t know tomorrow, but we know the character of God, and he has a sovereign plan for us that we can’t mess up.
So let us be adventurous. Fear not what tomorrow may bring, and persevere in faith.
“Let us replace fear of the unknown with curiosity”